The Monaco Raceway

by tkos on August 14, 2012

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On the way to Italy, we decide to pop into Monaco for lunch, as you do. Some people might call it a principality, but Wikipedia and I like to call it a country. The second smallest country in the world, in fact. After crossing the ‘border’, it doesn’t take us long to figure out that Monaco makes St Tropez look like Croydon. Monaco just reeks of money. The streets literally glisten in the sunlight like diamonds as countless Ferrari’s drive past us. It was incredible. The six year old boy inside me just lit up and my face beamed with excitement.

The port was filled with boats larger than most buildings. Some boats were big enough to dock other boats inside them. This is not a land of millionaires, but more of a land of billionaires. All this Louis Vuitton is a bit of a shock to the system. I just don’t think it suits us. Having heaps of money that is. Both Kimmi and I decide that when we are rich, we won’t be wearing our money on the outside.

I couldn’t help myself….. as I rode my bicycle through the glistening tunnels and sharp turns of Monaco, I found myself making engine noises. Yes, engine noises. As more cars came by, my ‘engine’ got louder and my brakes started screeching around turns! I was in the Monaco Grand Prix! Before I knew it, I was screaming my lungs out to myself! My rusty bucket of bolts had been transformed into a 1000cc engine which roared through the streets. Women and onlookers turned into cheerleaders and fans. Crowds, cameras and commentators lined the streets as I roared passed as loud as I could. I’d even had different levels of roar, depending on what gear I thought I should be in. The slightest curve in the road gave an excuse to exercise the screech of the brakes. I was winning! I was winning my own Monaco Grand Prix! Woo hoo! And there it was, the finish line! At the end of this tunnel! The sun shone so brightly on the outside world, on the outside of this tunnel, on the finish line! The road sparkled fiercely as my tyres raced over the diamond laid roads! Here comes the sun! Here comes the finish line! Here comes victory! There goes my voice!

And then I realised that I had just been overcome by an inner child. My 1000cc engine was nothing more than a bunch rust on my squeaky chain. My face suddenly flushed red with embarrassment as all my cheerleaders and fans just reverted into confused onlookers. My own world, usually kept closely guarded within my own mind, had escaped out to reality and completely over exposed itself! I was so embarrassed, looking around rapidly for Kimmi, afraid to imagine the look on her face. I felt like such an idiot!

And there she was, about 500 meters past the tunnel exit and taking a pretty tight turn. I thought I heard a little bit of a scream and started to worry that she may have fallen as she took the bend out of sight. I started to pedal faster, half relieved she didn’t hear my antics, half concerned that she had fallen. I heard another scream and pedalled faster. Wait, that wasn’t a scream….. That sounded like brakes!?! Vocal brakes screeching around corners! Then I heard Kimmi’s own engine roar as she powered ahead. VROOM!! She screamed before coming to a halt! I finally caught her, puffing and panting.

“I win!” She screams!

I just lost my own imaginary Grand Prix.

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